


Drunk Confessions

by yuet



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, CEO daehyun, Daehyun is engaged, M/M, Youngjae is hurt, inferior coffeeshop owner youngjae, theres smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 07:48:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11180268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuet/pseuds/yuet
Summary: Tonight, they meet again. To drink, of course. Daehyun only ever calls Youngjae out to drink, because both of them know how much they understand and relate with each other, and where would be a better place to vent out frustrations than the bar?They drown out their complaints with the alcohol, then go back to their respective homes, to their respective girlfriends, and their respective lives, where they hardly ever cross paths.But tonight seems to be a little bit different from the usual.





	Drunk Confessions

Youngjae is pouring the latte into a cup when his phone rings.

“Care for a drink?”

\------------------------------------------------

Tonight, they meet again. To drink, of course. Daehyun only ever calls Youngjae out to drink, because both of them know how much they understand and relate with each other, and where would be a better place to vent out frustrations than the bar? They drown out their complaints with the alcohol, then go back to their respective homes, to their respective girlfriends, and their respective lives, where they hardly ever cross paths.

Perhaps if Youngjae is the one who initiates the 'drink date’, they'd be spending more time with each other these few months. However, Youngjae has never been the one to invite the other out. Not because he doesn't want to, but with Daehyun being the CEO of a top notch insurance company and himself being a mere coffeeshop owner, he knows he can't be the one giving the time and date for a meet up. Youngjae feels like he's already lucky enough to be able to drink twice with Daehyun this month.

“How’s Sunhwa?” Daehyun asks, eyes focused on the wine glass. He twirls the red liquid and purses his lips, and through the emotionless facade Youngjae can see a tinge of displeasure.

“She's pretty. A lot of guys like her.” Youngjae, unlike Daehyun, looks straight towards the other in the eyes. He wants to confirm something, something that has always been tugging on his heart, and Daehyun seems to notice this but deliberately ignores it, causing Youngjae to slip slowly into a pit of sadness.

“Oh. You must be jealous.” It's quite unfair. Daehyun always holds his monotone when he's not tipsy enough. Not always, actually. It was ever since he inherited his father's place in the insurance company, that his work pile increased, and his emotionlessness along with it. Daehyun builds walls around himself, only to be broken down when he's drunk.

Youngjae hopes no one else sees Daehyun when he's drunk. He hopes that the little tint of red on his cheeks and the toothy smiles are reserved for him, and him only.

“I'm not. That's why she's unhappy. She wants to break up with me because I don't seem to care for her,” Youngjae responds carefully, waiting patiently for Daehyun to catch the hint. The other finally tears his gaze away from the glass in his hand and looks at him in surprise, but the surprise fades within a second, replaced with the mask of calm developed over the years of engaging in such an industry where feelings are redundant.

“How about your Hyosung?” Youngjae throws back almost coldly at the sight of Daehyun putting his guard up against himself. Again. “You must be getting married soon, considering how much commotion you two are stirring up in the media.” He's referring to the recent news of the two of them being all cosy with each other while being the best of business partners, and if Daehyun isn't dumb, which he really is anything _but_ , he will know that he's talking about the scandal yesterday, where Daehyun and Hyosung were seen to be exiting the Shangri-La Hotel at 6 in the morning.

Daehyun’s breath hitches, and he stares back at Youngjae. Finally. This look is not different to how he looks when he pleads for Youngjae not to tell a secret in their childhood. Daehyun is Youngjae’s very best friend, and with just a look like this Youngjae can tell everything he's thinking.

But not when he encounters emotionless businessman Daehyun. He feels a wave of nausea as he recalls the few years of drinking with Daehyun. This habit of theirs was developed when Daehyun started to have work piling up on his table. They could no longer chill in Youngjae’s coffeeshop, nor hang out in the amusement park, nor giggle in the cinemas while watching cheesy rom coms. They resorted to drinking, like adults should, and found that they both share an equal load and burden, no matter how different their positions may be. When the alcohol hits their stomachs, they vent, then they go home.

This time seems to be slightly different. The non tipsy Daehyun, despite still being pretentious and secretive, had shown more emotion than he did the few times he met Youngjae this year. It was progress, Youngjae thinks. But not enough.

Daehyun looks pained now. He still hasn't said a word, and is still holding Youngjae’s stare with his very own.

Youngjae sighs and gives up, heart clenching at the thought of Daehyun perhaps keeping silent to protect Hyosung, or even just his general habit of keeping things from Youngjae. 

It's unfair. Youngjae doesn't keep things from Daehyun.

“I'm sorry.”

The apology renders Youngjae speechless. He stares at him in shock and confusion. Whatever for?

As if he's just read his mind, Daehyun says, “You’re right. I’m… I'm getting married. To Hyosung.”

Youngjae inwardly gasps, heart clenching even more. He tastes bile in his throat, and he feels numb. Tears nearly well up in his eyes, but he swallows drily and tells himself to man the fuck up. It's no surprise anyway. Daehyun is up there, he needs a spouse that is also up there. He's unreachable now, double the power he holds in the business world.

Unreachable, especially to Youngjae.

Youngjae bites his lips, trying to keep his voice steady as he speaks. “Well, congratulations. What is there to be sorry for?” he manages weakly. He's shaking. He can't even hold his glass properly, so he puts it down and folds his hands on his lap, careful not to grasp his fingers together too tight and let his emotions seep through like that.

“Youngjae, I-” Daehyun reaches out, sadness in his eyes, to touch Youngjae, and Youngjae flinches. There's a flash of hurt when Youngjae does it, and anger wells up in Youngjae's chest. Why bother even feeling that way, Daehyun? You're the one doing all this to me.

“Youngjae,” he calls out again, another attempt to rein him back to where he's within reach. “ My father, he forced me into this. I… I don't love Hyosung.”

“So?” Youngjae sneers. “Who cares? The media doesn't care. Nor does the business world.”

Daehyun lowers his gaze. “I was hoping you would.”

The quiet line makes Youngjae's eyes soften. He knows, actually, how hard this is for Daehyun. Daehyun never wanted to work like a robot, never wanted to have a smile plastered on his face when he faced rude customers. That's what he told him every time he got drunk, whining about his father, whining about his customers, whining about his work.

“No one cares about what I think,” sobbed Daehyun one late night, staggering into Youngjae's arms as he hiccuped from the crying and the overdose of alcohol. “Only you care. But it doesn't matter, does it?”

That hurt Youngjae. It really did. After that night, Youngjae didn't want to meet up with Daehyun anymore.

But he still accepted Daehyun's invitations. Because he's a self torturous, masochistic asshole.

“I do.” He looks at the stunning smile that suddenly spreads across Daehyun’s face without warning. He looks at the businessman in awe. How beautiful. He's seen this breathtaking sight countless times when they were younger, but not anymore. The smile, regretfully, vanishes in the blink of an eye, pulling Youngjae out of his trance. His heart hardens at the cold contact with reality again. “But it doesn't matter, does it?” he adds, mocking Daehyun.

Daehyun grimaces and raises his hands in defeat. “I really didn't mean that last time, I'm sorry.” You would think Daehyun forgets his drunken rants, but he doesn't. Not when he's with Youngjae, at least. “I was… very frustrated. And I took it out on you. I'm sorry.”

“It's right though. It doesn't matter to you either, my care for you.” My love for you.

Daehyun says nothing and only downs his wine. It's starting. His sudden increase alcohol intake. Youngjae watches in silence as Daehyun gulps down the expensive liquid glass by glass like it's not wine at all.

Youngjae watches, and he is hurt. There's a big gaping hole in his heart, and it's tearing itself apart the more Daehyun drinks.

“Hey, stop it.” 

Daehyun really is going overboard tonight. Youngjae realises this as he sees him ordering a bottle of tequila afterwards out of all things.

“Jung Daehyun.” His gaze hardens when the other downs a fourth shot of tequila. You know what they say. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. “If you don't stop that right now I will leave you here alone to mope. Don't you even think about me helping you reach home tonight,” he says coldly, and Daehyun stops midway reaching for the bottle.

The older man sinks back in his chair, hazed eyes on the bottle of alcohol. Youngjae gets up. “The bill’s on me.” Before Daehyun can retort, Youngjae half slams the money on the table and pulls the other up in his arms and drags him away from the bar.

“I should have paid-”

“You're not the only owner of a company,” sneers Youngjae. Though that's not entirely accurate, because how dare he call his puny coffee shop a company in front of a billionaire CEO? It shuts Daehyun up though, so it's fine. That's all he needs.

Youngjae has never seen Daehyun this drunk, so they usually part ways outside the bar. This time it seems that Youngjae has to bring Daehyun home before leaving.

Youngjae sighs. He's heartbroken and tired and he doesn't need an extra burden (The thing is, he doesn't see taking care of Daehyun a burden, but he doesn't want to admit it, not even inwardly to himself).

He dials a number quickly.

“Who's that?” Daehyun blinks his dazed eyes at Youngjae, who throws him an irritated glance.

“A… friend,” is Youngjae's reply before he focuses back to the call. “Hello? Yes, sorry to bother you, Junhong. Are you free now?”

There's a pause and Daehyun tightens his grip on Youngjae, whose arm is still around his waist supporting him. Daehyun frowns when he sees Youngjae's smile for the first time in a few weeks, and suddenly throws his other arm around Youngjae's neck, drawing out a surprised yelp from the man.

“Oh? No, no it's nothing. I was just startled.” Youngjae is leaning backwards, as far as Daehyun’s face as possible, but they're still in close proximity. Now Daehyun is almost like he's hugging Youngjae, and his eyes are on Youngjae's lips as he talks into the phone, although Youngjae can't seem to focus, and the other man smirks when he notices this.

Daehyun can do many things when he's drunk. This including many things that he would be too embarrassed to do when he's not. Youngjae is aware of that, and the voice on the other end of the phone almost slips away when Daehyun closes their distance and licks a stripe on his neck, causing his breath to catch.

“Hyung? You okay there?”

The younger’s voice on the other end of the phone snaps Youngjae to his senses and he quickly mumbles, “I'm fine, just get here quickly, please.” Daehyun looks increasingly vexed the more he talks on the phone, and he playfully licks the shell of Youngjae's ear, almost, just almost, drawing out a moan from him. 

Youngjae tries to control himself, and he cuts the line before he can project any more weird noises to Junhong. “What are you doing?” gasps Youngjae the moment he puts his phone back into his pocket. Daehyun doesn't reply, nor does he detach himself from Youngjae, and buries his face into the crook of Youngjae's neck, breathing in slowly.

Youngjae can't seem to find the strength to push the other away, nor can he seem to resist the urge to stroke the back of the older male in a soothing way, to tell him he's here for him and that…

And that he loves him.

A sleek black car appears at the end of the deserted road and Youngjae finally pushes Daehyun away, looking away from Daehyun's face. “My friend's here. He’ll get us to your place.”

The car stops in front of them and Junhong gets out of the car to open the door for Youngjae. Junhong is looking good tonight; his fashionable denim jeans clutch to his legs and his plain white t-shirt loosely drapes over his long torso, which is perfectly matched with a smart looking leather jacket that is just the right size for him. Junhong purses his pretty lips and brush his blonde fringes aside as he stares at a blushing Youngjae and a drunk and annoyed Daehyun. “I thought you said you wouldn't meet up with him again.”

Youngjae forces himself to look anywhere other than the widened eyes of Daehyun. “It doesn't matter anymore. We’ll drop him off at his place and go home.”

“Together?” Daehyun raises an unsteady finger towards Junhong, a mixture of emotions prominent in his voice. “What, you're living together?”

“Yes.” Youngjae says straightforwardly. He's afraid Daehyun might misunderstand, but he recalls his engagement with Hyosung and anger prevents him from explaining that they're just roommates since Junhong just moved to town and was working at his coffeeshop in the meantime. 

Daehyun doesn't talk anymore when Youngjae gently shoves him into the back of the car and joins him. Junhong shuts the door beside Youngjae and goes back to his driver's seat, then he starts the engine.

“Where does he live?”

Youngjae tells him Daehyun's address and they speed off immediately.

\------------------------------------------------

It's been awhile since Youngjae has been to Daehyun's place. The mansion is still big, and the grandeur of it never fails to blind his eyes. Zelo opens the door for them and Youngjae staggers out with double his weight because he's wholly supporting Jung Daehyun, whose muscle mass itself must weigh a ton.

He groans and puts Daehyun’s arm around his neck while dragging him towards the mansion door and ringing the bell. To his surprise, a young beautiful woman answers it, and after a few seconds he realises it's Hyosung of Jun Group, daughter of one of the most important businessmen in Korea.

His heart drops the moment he sees how breathtaking she is and her mild concern for the man in his arms.

“Here.” He tries to gently hand Daehyun over but fails because Daehyun is grasping onto him so tightly and Hyosung is but a woman, she can't possibly have the strength to carry him inside or help detach Daehyun from him. Youngjae reddens with embarrassment. “Oh… actually how about I help him up to his bedroom?”

“Oh, that would be wonderful,” there's gratitude sparkling in her beautiful eyes and Youngjae turns to throw Zelo an apologetic look, hoping he gets the idea to “go home first". Zelo rolls his eyes and gets into the car, slowly driving away from the mansion.

“Is he alright? Did he drink too much again?” Hyosung's voice is laced with worry, and Youngjae feels sick when he hears that. He feels even more sick at the fact that he's being resentful towards such a nice and beautiful woman, someone who is also Daehyun's potential wife.

And “again”? What did she mean “again”? Did she see how Daehyun becomes when he's drunk? Did he show her his inner weaknesses?

Questions run through Youngjae's head and he almost forgets to answer Hyosung's question. He clenches his fist and forces a smile. “Yes, I'm afraid so. I'm sorry for not stopping him.”

“No, it's alright. I'm just… scared that he loses control like he usually does when he drinks.” Hyosung flashes him a painful smile. “What's your name?”

Youngjae’s heart thuds heavily against his chest as he wills himself not to look upset in front of her. So he has lost control in front of her before. “I'm Yoo Youngjae.”

Hyosung's eyes widen suddenly, and she backs off, choking. “You're… who?”

“Youngjae,” he repeats, a bit apprehensive of her way of acting. “Is something the matter?” He asks before pushing open Daehyun's bedroom door and helping the half conscious man reach the bed. She's shaking, he realises, and he frowns. His name shouldn't be causing such an effect.

He skims over her and notices there are a few angry red marks on her neck, causing him to look away, pain jabbing at him immediately. “If there's nothing, I'll get going now.”

“No!” Hyosung says, stopping him. She doesn't look at him in the eye, and her eyes look a bit red, god knows why. “Stay. He’ll wake up soon. I'll get you some hot tea as you wait.” With that, she exits the room quickly and closes the door behind her.

Youngjae is stunned at her reaction and is baffled at her request of him to stay. Still, he obliges, and gently sits on the bed beside Daehyun, who's now completely knocked out by the alcohol. It allows him to think anyway. Not that it's the best thing to do, given that thinking is what always delivers him heartaches and sharp pangs. When it involves Daehyun, that is.

What is Hyosung doing in Daehyun's place? Why is she acting like a hostess in his mansion?  
Perhaps Daehyun's father had already made arrangements for Hyosung to live with Daehyun before the marriage, since she's going to move in after that anyway.

There it is. The heartache. His chest constricting painfully and there's nothing he can do about it except claw at it and attempt to relieve some of the pain. He takes in a deep breath and exhales, just in time before Daehyun's fiancee comes back in with two china cups and a transparent teapot, with coloured hot liquid and a few red leaves floating on the top.

She settles it on the small desk beside Daehyun's bed and pours out a cup for Youngjae, carefully handing it to him afterwards. “It's hot,” she says gently before giving him a sad smile. Youngjae can't seem to be able to tear his eyes away from the marks on her smooth white skin as he drinks the tea. The scorching hot liquid tugs his focus away from his heartache and he winces from the physical pain. “Slowly, there's no hurry,” she says softly.

*I'll be taking my leave. I'm here only temporarily and I don't live here, if you're wondering. Daehyun's… all yours for tonight,” she says uneasily, and again, she approaches the door and leaves, just like that.

Youngjae gazes at the shut door in awe and tries to figure out what her words mean and why she's reacted like she did. A little spark of hope blossoms in his chest. Could it be that Daehyun had told her about him? His expression falls and he sighs, stubbing that spark of hope. It's not impossible but Daehyun probably referred to him as an important friend he couldn't see often or something. That must be it. That must be why she left them alone… for the night.

Youngjae frowns and turns his gaze towards Daehyun, who's peacefully in slumber. He's gorgeous and looks harmless when he sleeps, hardly showing any of the poise he has as the CEO of one or the top companies in Korea. Youngjae cracks a smile at the sight of such a vulnerable Daehyun.

He thinks twice before he leans over and brushes his lips over the forehead of the other, enjoying the short moment he gets to have contact with Daehyun’s body heat. Then, he reluctantly lifts himself up and flutters his fingers over the slightly damp fringes, pushing them away from his face so he can see him clearly.

He's so, so magnificently prepossessing.

Youngjae's in such a trance that he doesn't even realise it when a hand sneaks up behind him and pulls him forward, breaking his balance and sending him collapsing straight onto the Daehyun's body. 

“I caught you staring, Jae.” Youngjae can feel Daehyun's chest rumble as he speaks. It's been awhile since Daehyun had called him that nickname, and Youngjae widens his eyes at Daehyun in confusion. The older just stared back at him gently and, perhaps even lovingly? Youngjae doesn't let himself think further.

“Kiss me,” Daehyun says, and the commanding tone catches Youngjae off guard. With a quick movement of Daehyun's strong arms, Youngjae is hoisted upwards until he comes face to face towards Daehyun, who's looking up to him, eyes no longer dazed but replaced by something forbidden and terrifying and alluring at the same time.

Youngjae shifts his gaze to the slightly opened plump lips and wants to just take a dive, but he's afraid. Is Daehyun just drunk? Why is he acting like… like he feels the same way Youngjae does?

Daehyun doesn't give Youngjae any time to process anything else before sliding a hand into his hair and dragging him downwards to meet his own plump lips. It hurt at first, all teeth and lips because Youngjae wasn't ready, but Youngjae finds that he can't resist what he's been dreaming for ages so he pulls back a bit and tries again, this time gently, allowing his lips to push gently against Daehyun's. Daehyun is eager, and his tongue trails Youngjae's bottom lip. As if on cue, Youngjae's mouth opens a little, and Daehyun doesn't hesitate to dive in, exploring the warm and moist cavern with his tongue.

Youngjae shudders. Daehyun does wonders with his mouth and to his mouth, as well as to his brain. He soon finds himself moaning deeply into the kiss and pressing himself harder onto Daehyun's body, yearning for that warmth he never had the opportunity to come so close to until now. Daehyun seems to feel the same, and he pulls away just to flip them over on the bed so that he's now straddling Youngjae, taking his time to take a good look at the other.

Youngjae's hair is disheveled, his cheeks tainted with pink, his lips swollen, inviting and erotic. There's lust dancing in his eyes, as well as insecurity, and Daehyun cups his palm over Youngjae's cheek and brushes his finger gently against his skin, trying to wipe away all the unpleasant things that are still reflected in his eyes. He doesn't succeed, and Youngjae looks away, seemingly embarrassed.

“Youngjae,” he tries. Said man doesn't look at him at all, only focusing on the teapot beside the bed. The alcohol is in Daehyun's system, the heat rushing rapidly in his circulation, and he growls, finally earning attention from the other man. When Youngjae finally turns to him, he crashes their lips together again, this time rougher, and there's only lust between them when Daehyun fixes himself on Youngjae's body in a way that they fit like a jigsaw puzzle. He swoops Youngjae into ecstasy with his tongue again and grinds into him, earning a higher pitched moan from the man below him.

There's no time for embarrassment, only lust and desire and kisses. Daehyun rotates his hips in a steady rhythm to bring out the sounds he wishes to hear from Youngjae, and Youngjae doesn't disappoint, whimpering and squirming below him and filling Daehyun's ears with aural pleasure.

Daehyun is drunk on Youngjae's moans, and Youngjae is drunk on Daehyun's touches.

Youngjae finally lets himself go, and his hands reach under Daehyun's shirt to explore his body. There are defined lines and hard planes, and places that dip and curve. He marvels at the way Daehyun's muscles jump at his feathery touches, and the way his abdominal muscles contract when his hands stay at the lower part of his stomach. Daehyun kisses his cheek and down his neck and Youngjae's hand comes back up to massage his scalp gently as he does so, drawing out gentle moans from Daehyun that Youngjae feels vibrating against his skin.

Daehyun hastily unbuttons Youngjae's shirt and leaves it open, placing fluttery kisses from his neck to his chest, and then he smirks, sitting back up. Youngjae groans as Daehyun positions himself on his crotch and takes his time to slowly and teasingly take off his very own dress shirt, flinging it across the room. Youngjae is impatient; he reaches up and Daehyun dives back in to lick at the milky white skin across his chest, almost driving Youngjae insane when he flicks his tongue over a little pink nub. He curls his tongue and does the same with his fingers that are rubbing gently at the other nub, causing Youngjae’s breaths to harshen and his torso to arch up into Daehyun's mouth.

“Dae...hyun-” Youngjae gasps, his pants feeling a little too tight from Daehyun's foreplay. The older man seems to notice his concern and trails a hand down to brush over the zipper of his pants, causing Youngjae to grit his teeth and swallow his saliva. Daehyun pushes himself back up and kisses Youngjae, muffling his moans as he palms the clothed erection with gentle and teasing pressure. “Please, quick…” says Youngjae between pants, sounding almost too sinfully seductive, and Daehyun is ten times more impatient than he is, so he pulls down the zipper of Youngjae's jeans and reaches into his underwear, wrapping his colder hand around the feverish length and giving it a hard squeeze that causes Youngjae’s hips to arch up.

Youngjae is at bliss from the contact, and he shuts his eyes and lets himself drown in Daehyun's rough kisses and touches, moaning again and again into the hot cavern of Daehyun's mouth as the pace of Daehyun's pumping increases. His arms wrap tightly around Daehyun, pulling him closer and closer onto his sweaty body, and delivers the same fervour in his kisses. Youngjae whimpers when he's near his peak, pulling away from Daehyun's mouth and crying out loud, before he bucks and shudders a few times, warm and sticky liquid spilling onto Daehyun's fingers. His breaths slow down and he buries his face into the crook of Daehyun's neck, taking in the scent of cologne and alcohol and sweat.

He lets go a while after and looks at Daehyun, whose eyes are still hazy from the ordeal. He brushes his fingers over Daehyun's cheek, and Daehyun uses his clean hand to grasp Youngjae's, pressing it against his cheek and then kissing it gently. His gaze is intense as he takes in one of Youngjae's digits into his mouth, tongue rolling over the salty skin and occasionally wrapping around it. He leaves a trail of saliva when he pulls away and gives Youngjae's hand another peck before he puts it down.

Youngjae sits up and cups Daehyun's face with both his hands, then gently kisses his forehead, his nose, and then his lips. Before doing anything else, Youngjae pushes Daehyun onto the bed and helps Daehyun out of his pants and boxers. He also takes off his own shirt and shimmies off his jeans and his boxers, leaving himself stark naked for Daehyun to gaze upon.

Daehyun swallows, eyes trailing up and down the milky white skin he's always wanted to leave bruises on, and licks his lips at the sight of Youngjae's dip of the collarbone. He wants desperately to be the first and only one to deflower such a magnificent beauty, to deprive him of his innocence and purity. He wants to ravage him and make his skin red from his touches and leave his possessive markings so that no one would touch him. 

His eyes darken. Especially not that boy who just drove him home.

Youngjae's mind is also on something else as he looks down at Daehyun's toned body. There are bite marks on his shoulder and hickeys at the dip of Daehyun's stomach. His face falls at the thought of Daehyun having had sex with someone else before him, that Youngjae is the only one sacrificing his virginity in this relationship.

They've come this far, and Youngjae doesn't want to stop, of course. But it's painful. Daehyun seems to read his mind when Youngjae traces a careful finger over the hickeys on Daehyun's body. He grabs Youngjae's hand and kisses it regretfully and apologetically, which confirms Youngjae's concerns and god forbid, causes tears to well up in his eyes.

Daehyun, upon seeing this, panics a little. He whispers “no, no” over and over again when he pulls Youngjae down into his chest and embraces him, kissing his forehead and comforting him.

Youngjae will have none of it. He feels anger, possessiveness, jealousy and hurt at the same time, his tears aggressively rolling down his face and onto Daehyun's chest. He pushes away and looks at Daehyun's face that's filled with guilt, pain and sadness, as if he pities Youngjae, and Youngjae doesn't want that. He doesn't want pity.

Seems like he’ll just have to see this as a one night stand instead of love making.

Youngjae lifts himself off of Daehyun's body and leans against the bedframe next to Daehyun, earning a worried glance from the man beside him. “What are you doing?” Daehyun sits up and moves to the side of the bed to turn to look at him, and Youngjae spreads his legs wide vulgarly in front of him, causing Daehyun to choke unexpectedly.

Youngjae rids himself of all the previous emotions and closes his eyes to convince himself again that this is just sex, not love making. He opens his eyes again and a seductive smile replaces his grimace. He sticks two fingers in his mouth and erotically moans while his fingers dig deep into the hollow, getting a generous amount of saliva before pulling them out. He reaches downwards.

He can see Daehyun's raging arousal when he slowly massages his hole and sticks the coated fingers into himself, biting his lips hard enough to draw blood as he does so. It's painful at first, alright, but physical pain is always better than the heartache he feels whenever Daehyun is cold towards him.

“Daehyun…” he moans, finally finding his prostate, and fingers himself deep there, increasingly quickening his pace. He hears just faintly the harsh breaths beside him and the strangled sounds Daehyun's making as he looks at Youngjae finger himself. Youngjae puts in a third finger and gasps, feeling heightened pleasure when he strokes the spot again and again. He finally pulls out before he can orgasm again, and pulls out his sticky fingers to show Daehyun, tempting him.

Daehyun’s mouth is dry, and he doesn't know why Youngjae is doing this. This isn't his Youngjae, the pure Youngjae who just squirmed and cried underneath him. But at the same time, he also is Youngjae, the beautiful man that drives him crazy and triggers his arousal so easily. He's pained that Youngjae sees the proof of his sex with Hyosung. It was just sex, but Youngjae didn't see it that way, and Daehyun was more than guilty of giving his first to someone other than Youngjae, while Youngjae…

He refuses to think further. The sight in front of him is arousing yet disturbing, and he gulps, looking away. Youngjae approaches him suddenly, drawing closer and closer, and pulls Daehyun to the middle of the bed and pushes him down like earlier.

Daehyun doesn't have time to think before his eyes widen in shock at what is happening right now. Youngjae is straddling him and he's positioning himself right above Daehyun's cock. No way, is he going to-

Daehyun almost cries out when the heat wraps his abandoned erection, slowly engulfing him whole. Youngjae is riding him slowly, and Daehyun can't help but thrust up, causing Youngjae to gasp. Daehyun can see his lust filled eyes that roll to the back of his head with such pleasure, and the hair that sticks to his sweaty skin as he rocks his hips against Daehyun's cock. Daehyun himself is drunk in the sex, hands reaching up to Youngjae's slender waist as Youngjae quickens his pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin resonating in the room along with moans and gasps and hitches of breaths.

Youngjae comes first, liquid spilling onto Daehyun's tanned stomach when his muscles constrict tightly around Daehyun's cock, causing Daehyun to gasp and also reach his climax, releasing his threads in Youngjae.

Youngjae collapses onto Daehyun without detaching himself yet. He's exhausted, and he can't care much about the warmth within his hole and the liquid leaking out of it.

He sees the bite marks up close as he rests his head against Daehyun's chest. They're reddish purple and angry, just like what Youngjae had seen on Hyosung. Sadness washes over him and he rolls over, finally pulling himself off. He ignores the eyes that are on him when he turns to the other side of the wall and suppresses his tears.

“Youngjae.” The voice is gentle and coaxing, but Youngjae doesn't listen. He sits up, much to the protest of his behind due to the recent ordeal and winces from the pain and numbness. He feels a hand grab onto his arm to urge him to stay but he flings it away, steadying himself with a hand on the bedframe. He slowly stands up, ignoring the burning flames between his legs, and walks over to get some tissues on the desk and clean himself up before he quickly pulls his clothes back on.

“Yoo Youngjae.” The voice is firm and dominant. One that fits perfectly with a top company CEO. Youngjae laughs bitterly in response to the command.

“This is a one night stand, you hear me? I won't get between you and your future wife anymore, Daehyun.” Youngjae finishes buttoning up his shirt and walks towards the door.

A hand grabs his wrist and he's suddenly slammed against the wall, eyes of fury burning into his own. He feels Daehyun's breath on his face and he resists the urge to look at his lips again, or he'll be kissing him in a few seconds’ time. “There's nothing between me and Hyosung,” Daehyun says through gritted teeth. “So would you please, please listen to me-”

“But you left marks on her, and she left marks on you. You had sex just yesterday.” It hurt even more having to put it into words so bluntly. Youngjae's words were like a slap to his own face, a slap so hard and painful he doesn't think he can ever recover.

Daehyun looks away, and Youngjae sneers. “See? I'm not wrong. You're just craving her embrace. I didn't hear my name from you once during sex, and I guess you were just refraining from calling Hyosung’s name, hm? That's what it was, wasn't it?” Youngjae lets out a sad and bitter chuckle when Daehyun wants to protest.

“You know what, fuck you, Jung Daehyun.” He opens the door and throws him a look so full of delirious hate that Daehyun takes a step back. “I just willingly gave you my fucking first.”

Daehyun stares at the shut door and feels weak in the knees from Youngjae's last blow to him. 

His first. He took Youngjae's first.

He's happy he did. But he's also greatly regretful that he couldn't have his virginity taken by Youngjae, to make them seem equal in this relationship. That feeling of guilt and remorse eats him up on the inside and overwhelms and happiness he has from Youngjae's words.

 _What are we?_ Daehyun wanted to ask today at the bar. That was the reason he called him out.

He buries his face in his hands and walks into the bathroom, turning on the cold shower. 

He recalls last night, he hands roaming on Hyosung's body, her screams and moans when he plunges deep into her. 

But in fact, ‘Hyosung’ was not the name that Daehyun chanted so religiously last night, despite ravaging the woman's body like he would a lover.

A knock sounds at his door, and Daehyun switches off the tap and wraps his lower body with a towel before going back to his bed. The knob turns and it reveals a red faced Hyosung in her sleeping robes, draped over her so loosely that it's sexy. 

But it doesn't appeal to Daehyun. In fact, it never did.

It was her milky white skin and her beauty, reminding him of Youngjae's, that drew him in and made him lust for her.

“You don't need me tonight, do you?” she asks. She's not a shy person. In fact, she's usually bold and confident, especially when she's at work, but somehow Daehyun takes away that power and dominance from her at home. “I just saw him leave. I thought he was going to stay-”

“Shut up!” Daehyun hisses angrily.

“-and accompany you in sleep. I suppose not,” she finishes. She steps in and sits on the bed behind Daehyun, hands on his shoulders and folding gently, applying the right amount of pressure to make him relax.

Daehyun sighs and leans into her touch. It's comforting, having a friend like Hyosung, who calms you down whenever necessary. He can't help but feel guilty when he recalls these few nights he slept with her.

“Hyosung,” he says gently, a hand coming up to hold hers. “I'm sorry.”

“For what? Moaning another man’s name when you're having sex with me? Fantasising about doing what we did with him instead?” She chuckles, and it's a sad but beautiful sound. “Or for bluntly turning down the marriage in front of me? You tell me.”

There's a pause and Daehyun realises how shit of a person he is, and he squeezes her hand apologetically.

“For not being able to feel the same way you feel towards me.” he says. He can't bring himself to turn around and look at her. “You deserve much better, Jun Hyosung.”

“I do,” she laughs, not at all heartfelt. “I really do.” She slides off the bed and takes the tray of tea, leaving one cup beside the bed. “Drink that and sleep. You have a meeting tomorrow early in the morning.” She walks out and closes the door behind her, and Daehyun is left alone to mourn for everything that has happened.

\------------------------------------------------

Youngjae staggers up the building and rings the bell of his apartment complex. Junhong answers the door with his bathrobe hung over his body, hair dripping wet from the recent shower.

“You look like a walking disaster,” Junhong offers when Youngjae drags himself into the apartment, and earns a glare from the man.

“Thanks.” Youngjae goes to the fridge and pulls out a few cans of beer. “Want to drink with me?”

“No,” Junhong rejects immediately. “I’m working the early shift tomorrow and I don't want to be hungover.”

Youngjae chuckles. “Sensible brat.” He collapses on the couch and winces from the impact.

Junhong's gaze softens. “I've got medication.”

“For what?” Youngjae feigns innocence, and the younger man rolls his eyes, entering his room to grab the ointment. He comes back out and throws the bottle to Youngjae, who catches it swiftly with one hand and stares at the label.

“Don't ask why I have it, just use it according to the label.” Junhong walks dries his hair vigorously with another towel and sighs before he disappears into his room. “And don't drink. You've had enough for today.”

Youngjae can't help but look gratefully at the shut door of Junhong’s bedroom, feeling blessed to have at least one good roommate beside him for the night. 

That blessed feeling doesn't last long. 

What's left is an endless pit of despair hitting his stomach, and he stares at the cans of beer in front of him, wondering just how many he can drink in one night.

**Author's Note:**

> I was initially going to make this a one shot but that's just too hasty for me. Ahem, One Shot, geddit *wiggles eyebrows*
> 
> Okay soz ignore me, go check out my other fic A Second Chance, I update that at least once a week! I guarantee you one long emotional ride and that fic has a completely different feel from this one.
> 
> Be sure to leave kudos and comments :)
> 
> Much love,  
> yuet


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